Harley's Twenty Truths
by CampionSayn
Summary: Twenty truths about Harley Quinn, favorite jester of all time!


Disclaimer: I own nothing and nothing owns me.

A/N: I decided to make this after reading some fics by The Lady Bonny. She's awesome by the way!

A collection of Twenty Truths challenges. Written for one Harley Quinn becuase she's both under-appreciated and I wanted to do something basically crazy.

Warnings: Slight Harley/Batman, Harley/Joker hints.

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Harley Quinn : Twenty Truths.

1) Contrary to popular belief, she has never, ever, _ever_killed anyone. Any sort of carnage was something Mistah J did himself. She always stayed as far away as possible when she knew he was killing someone. She ain't no murderer.

2) That time she kissed Bats at Arkham after a particularly bad day of people trying to shoot her, run her over and blow her up, she not only didn't regret kissing him, she _liked _it. He tasted nice and like something totally different from Mistah J. Like.... English toffee and cocoa. Joker always tasted like iron and tobacco.

3) If she got pregnant, in one second she drop Puddin' on his ass and get the first and fastest ride out of town. Away, away, away from Gotham, and Arkham and Mistah J. Don't get her wrong, she loved the Clown Prince, but she wouldn't want her innocent baby to be exposed to him.

4) 'Miss American Pie' is her absolute favorite song. Even if she might _say_ otherwise.

5) Ivy's the only real friend she's ever had. She was never a, uh, social butterfly, really, until after college.

6) Harley can't stand any type of alcohol. Even the lightest kind of wine makes her look for the nearest trash bin. Or, if there weren't any, an exit door.

7) One of her favorite activities is driving the getaway car. Something of being out of control, and yet totally in control is invigorating. The wind in her face, Bud and Lou's drool flying behind them like banners and the screams of citizens running away... talk about a good time.

8) The original tale of The Little Mermaid makes her cry. Think of it, a being totally alien from a human falling in love with one and willing to give up life for that human's happiness. Lois Lane must be one lucky girl...

9) She'll never admit it, but once, she sent Batman a very short but sweet 'get well' card. It was probably the hardest thing she's ever done, but she's glad she did it. Mistah J caused B-man's injuries, after all, so she was sorta kinda responsible.

10) Harley can't cook anything without it mutating into absolute food poison. That kind that makes you get your stomach pumped at the hospital and requires antibiotics.

11) She believes in soul-mates. And she knows in her heart.... Mistah J's not her's. But, maybe that's for the best.

12) Harley keeps trying to hook Ivy up with one of the other Rogues-- Except Two-Face. That would start the next World War. She's not that stupid. Besides, Red and Professor Crane seemed to hit it off last time...

13) Jazz gives her a head-ache. Seriously. She can't listen to it for thirty seconds without feeling an uncomfortable buzzing in her scull.

14) Don't get her wrong, she loves Ivy's mutant flowers, but she _prefers_ violets that won't eat her hand.

15)When Mistah J tried to bomb the city, it felt good when he let his anger slip and she kicked his jaw. It helped release some of her own feelings of anger. No way was he going to kill Ivy, the Bat and her babies!

16) Despite her history with Dr. Leland, Professor Crane is her favorite colleague. He's sweet and funny, and if it wasn't was the whole fear thing he could be a perfect doctor.... Maybe.

17) At every single one of their hide-outs Harley keeps a photo of her and Puddin' on a wall. Not a big photo, just one that can fit in a wallet. A little tribute to how much their relationship means to her.

18) Professor Crane taught her first-aid once, and she finds it useful when Mistah J is in one of his particularly... bad moods. It doesn't happen too often, but when it does she always has a full kit of gauze and and morphine to fall back on.

19) Bud and Lou are super protective of her, and she loves them for it. Puddin's too busy with Bats to protect her, so her Babies a a welcome comfort.

20) In her room at Arkham, Harley keeps a news clipping of B-man under her pillow. She'll never let anyone find it, and Mistah J would probably kill her if he found out, but.... Batman is actually giving a slight smile in the picture. One that's way better than Joker's any day.

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If you've gotten this far, thabk you much for reading! Please review, please? I'm so desperate, considering this is my first try at Batman tAS fiction.


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